Buckle up and return your seats and tray tables to their original upright positions. I just got back from doing a few promo gigs out here in florida. They’re having the big daytona 500 race this week out here, speed week I think they call it… and this model agency hired me on to be a car show “rent a model” with some other model type skinny russian broads who barely speak any english. Russian girls are hot but they dont smile too much… anyhow you know how they want like a multicultural talent pool and all at these big corporate events, and since nascar is mostly a redneck sport and has a 0.02% negro audience I guess I got handpicked to be the black boy posterchild. Whatever nigga just cut the check for the right amount… so thats my day, and my week here actually. I’m hustling, ponying up some cash for my next video project so I can sell sell sell and get paid paid paid. Photo above is me and Ryu from Latindollars at Saphirre at the 2010 players ball. Thanks for the bottle service WebAir and D-money the free Limo service and VIP was much appreciated man!

So getting back to florida here and now, its like 2am and after a long 12 hour workday of being a rent-a-coon I fell asleep, just woke up and checked my email. I got something from my mom, a Fwd’d msg actually from my ex who asked for some dollars a few days ago. Something along the lines of “send money now” and we got a 500 dollar phone bill lol. Quit calling niggas in jail and out of your area code and country then. Use skype like every other motherfucker does in this recession, its free. I then read a little deeper cause my eyes are tired, and its 2am and theres something in the email about how I’m fucking some bitches, doing this and that to some indians, i’m a disgusting horrible person, pervert, etc, etc. I still didnt read all that shit in its entirely, cause its 2am, I’m thirsty, and I need to get ready to hit the gym for my workout before cranking out some computer work.

In my opinion if you have internet access, a home with 4 walls, with functional utilities, and a fixed monthly income you are not as bad off as you think. Go figure it out, and if this bitch thinks I care if my family knows that I make adult films for a living she’s got another thing coming.  Its just entertainment for profit, and I promote smiles. I recorded a Shimmy Show broadcast about this as I’m making my smoothie right now. And it was a really good strawberry banana smoothie, all frothy on top just like I like it Mmmm mmm good Its all good and its all fun. Fun for adults. Smiles. Laughs. Giggles. Happiness. Joy… Ain’t that right Sierra?

Fresh White tshirt in my all-white cabby… Yeah, she a girl but she call me daddy

http://www.shimmyshow.com

This midlife crisis thing really kicks ass. Its amazing some days actually.

K now let me get my ass back to work on updating my sites. Laters.

A lot of folks listen to me talking shit on the shimmy show and think I don’t care about the girls I work with both on and off camera, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m not a hardcore gangsta nigga gorilla pimp I do actually give a shit, and in the case of what happened over the last few days I cared a bit too much about the 18 year old white girls “problems” and got fucked over myself by going soft. I exhibited a sign of weakness, broke the rules of the game, and pretty much fucked myself out of a few hundred dollars. Should recoop it today, we will see if the girl remains true to her word, should be an interesting night. See that little text message I got on my phone there… my main chick the 18yr old white girl has self inflicted money problems. She has rent that is $1000 a month, her roomate skipped out on her without paying, and she got an eviction notice (or at least the customary warning papers) on her door the other day. So that alone was motivation for her to get some real money hustling for me. I said I would double up and even triple post her ads to keep her phone ringing and help her out. Well to make a long story short she made $800 last night from 2 calls. We have this agreement where 2 calls or less we split 50/50 and 3 calls or more I get 50 per delivery along with a little kickback for ad posting and gas money. It works out about the same so long as she keeps moving, and isn’t lazy.

By the way, thank you Jayda for helping me forget about these problems…. so anyhow instead of my $400 cut last night, she tried to renig on our written agreement and give me like $160 for the whole night, pocketing about $700 for herself. I set her straight and she went into this bit about my rent this, my life that, blah blah blah and I told her I don’t want to see her ass evicted so just pay the fucking rent and don’t expect me to bend the fuck over for you like this because these were some high risk calls in lakeland that I had taken babygirl on, and some unneccesary risks if you ask me and I don’t like doing anything remotely that hot. So I really really fucked myself out of my money for this little 18 year old bitch, who just spent $340 on a freakin cell phone 2 days ago (gee where did that rent money go…) and I made it clear to her this would not happen again.

I’m not the type of nigga to rub shit like this in peoples faces or hold stuff over their heads cause it just makes for awkward moments. So long as she knows it’s back to business as usual we’re good. Surprisingly after she made rent, she tells me she could not work yesterday cause she is sick, stomach hurts (hangover likely) and I said no problem but today (sunday) you’re going out EARLY and getting me some motherfuckin money. And that she will do. Cause I’m leaving on Monday… up to Canada for a week to see my kids and get them some winter clothes, shoes and shit before it turns cold up there. I’m also gonna film some enough indian girls to get hotnativeamericangirls.com launched. I spent the afternoon yesterday booking a plane ticket, researching hotel/rental cars, making sure my bills here are all straight for my office space, gym membership (thanks, girl with glasses) and other shit so that when I get back in the country everything is on the up and up. I ended yesterday by having Jayda over for an office POV video, same type of scenes as last week only with better lighting, and broke in that natuzzi leather sofa finally. Keep up to date on my travels on the shimmy show audioblog, as this might be my last post here on shimmysbookmarks for about a week or so, as I’ll be busy filming, with my kids, with friend, girls, etc for the next week and I don’t have a laptop. Maybe if I can update this site through my iphone… we’ll soon see.

peaceout

shimmy

One of my favorite skits from Dave Chapelle’s Show was “when keepin it real goes wrong“. Its on the Season 2 DVD if you missed it. So here’s whats on my mind today… I have this habit of keeping friends with 2 sets of X-chromosomes. That pretty much sums it up, but I’ll continue. I actually have a really good friend whom I’ve known for about a year. We share a lot in common and she’s my favorite workout partner. She is actually one of the few people aside from you pervs who read this blog who know I live the double-life of a porn actor / webmaster / producer. Well I assumed she knew I was on-camera sometimes too. But I assumed wrong, and not that it matters as we’ve never had sex, and even still I’m always AIM tested. She is fine as fuck too, a hot little number that can run with me for miles and has a great brain too.  Should have converted this into a real relationship but I was going through some drama when we first met and we kinda drifted into the friends zone. Unlike most typical “platonic” M/F friendships, this one wasn’t like slow-motion humilation. I actually liked her and enjoying doing shit and going places with her. Concerts, trail runs, movies, it was nice. And a nice change to be with someone who doesn’t embarass you in public like a wife or girlfriend typically is known for. Maybe thats why I didn’t want to push myself on her. In hindsight I am now thinking maybe men and women aren’t meant to be ‘just friends’. Who knows.

In the adult biz you tend to wanna insulate yourself with people whom you can trust, and you never ever want to burn those bridges because it is those folks who will keep you ‘normal’. And you can’t lie to them, you can’t lie to anyone matter of fact, and if they choose to leave you high and dry you just kinda have to let it be. Our last little conversation went something along the lines of me asking her for some stories for script ideas (note to self: mistake #1) and I did this assuming she was cool as always and she brings up something like “so you’re acting in porn flicks now?” and I’m like yeah if you can call it that, I’ve done a few scenes for ABC/XYZ etc. And I should have left it at that. But you know when you have friends that are very close to you, you automatically assumed that they’re genuinely interested in your life and its details, and I am guessing in her female mind which is wired differently by default, giving all these details was like me dropping a nuclear bomb on hawaii. So there is a bit of awkward silence for a few days… and it’s just weird because I’m used to dealing with girlfriend/wife drama but most people tend to actually care somewhat what their friends think of them. And you assume they are accepting of you if you’ve spent a lot of time with them. So the lesson learned here folks (as there are no regrets in life) is if you decide to go down the road I have traveled, be prepared for situations like this. Its just weird I dunno what to say. You think people are cool with porn especially after being upfront and honest with them. Hope to hear from you again KA, I really liked you. Now back to writing and casting my little porno skits…

“My marriage is pretty much over…my wife is very unhappy and sad to say she doesn’t seem that interested in resolving our problems. Feel like a one legged man in a horse race. There’s only so much I can do on my end.” -Distressed Chat Board Guy

He said it himself in the first 6 words. Without the need to get personal and name names here, there has been an ongoing discussion on this chat board that I frequent for the past few days from this guy who is having trouble with his wife. Well you know what my take on the situation is. And I usually keep my opinions to myself and don’t judge people unless they explicitly ask for it, but this guy is clearly in over his head and asking for help. He didn’t do his homework, which begins before the whole courting process. I basically told him that he needs to drop her like a bad habit and keep moving forward. I don’t know anything about the variables of his particular situation, but I gather enough info to conclude that he is unhappy, on the defensive, and trying to fix the situation everyday. He is expending a lot of energy that could be used elsewhere more efficiently. She got him in a very good position, because if she were truly as unhappy as she claims then wtf is she sticking around for?

Dude, I’ve walked down that path before and you are fighting a losing battle, uphill, while carrying a piano on your back. Don’t do that to yourself. There is a planet full of women who will actually respect you and treat you well once you respect yourself enough to charge this ‘prize’ woman you have off. It amazes me how many people in this business don’t have their game tight, as I used to be this way too. I don’t think your current mate either loves or respects you for that matter, so why stick around? Tell her to put some wheels on her high heels and rollerskate up on outta your house. Your relationship is fubar (f*cked up beyond all repair) Man wasn’t meant to live like that. Good luck, not that you need it once you get your mind right.

Shimmy

For the most part, relationships are doomed to fail from the start, including the little institution called marriage. I don’t know who comes up with these wacky ideas in the first place. “Hey I like you, lets live together… we can stay joined at the hips for 3 weeks then go to bed seething at one another for the rest of our natural lives while we blame each other for our shortcomings” or something like that. Your experience may vary. Me, I’m now 30 and have been through it all full circle.

Most people don’t know anything about the elasticity of their so-called relationships until the shit actually has hit the fan, and splattered everywhere. And let me tell you it can be a mess to clean up. If you don’t have local law enforcement, feds, shyster lawyers, tow trucks, and creditors on your back after a breakup, consider yourself a magician. These things don’t have to end nasty but generally do. It can be amplified if you’re dealing with real nutcase.

So I’ve come to the general conclusion, well before I hit age 30 that relationships do in fact suck. They are bad for your health, your wallet, and everything you hold dear in this world. And at the end of the day, the piece of mind you sacrifice is not worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from being an antisocial prick and I love hawt women with a passion… but I value my independence above everything. I like to see, do, and go wherever the fuuuuuq I feel like, at my convenience. If I get the urge to go hop in a hot tub at 3am or go shopping for cereal with a jar full of pennies wearing a fuzzy pimp hat then I’m gonna do just that, no questions. Goodbye and AsSalaamAlaikum. Oh it feels good to be free.

Thinking back to my married days, I was like a goddam zombie. Basically an ATM machine with legs, that was more of an annoyance in the house than anything. I did everything my mate asked without question, immediately, and to the best of my ability, because I thought that was what a good man who cares should do. I had no interests or life of my own other than to please this cow, and thinking back… I really have no idea why. Other than the fact I was young and green and got taken by a shark. I mean realistically, there are not too many standup guys in this world that would even consider sticking around a woman for a minute who talks crazy to them, can’t be pleased, and is far from a being a dime. Women are not rare on this planet, so why subject yourself to the dregs when there are so many good smart fine ones out there who would love to meet you.

I can say that I’m happy I’m no longer wasting away my life in a bad situation. I’ve lost nearly a hundred pounds, got back in shape, started reading again, and am on the fast track to success now that I got my mind right. If anyone out there is feeling these words… can I get an amen.