I make a lot of personal sacrificies to be a pornographer that many of you guys who aren’t in the industry don’t even realize. I don’t sleep much at all, work 80-100hrs per week, have to deal with all sorts of flakes, fakes, and deadend runarounds. Deals go bad, people wanna lowball, trashtalk, and steal your work when you put it up for sale, billing companies run off with all your hard earned money like a thief in the night, and to top it all off you are looked down upon by everyone in your family and community that somehow has a misconception about what exactly it is you do for a living. You can’t date any “normal” chicks, they will usually flee when you tell them the truth about how you make a living. Unless they’re hippie chicks, liberals, or lesbians, which can sometimes totally rock.

My mom actually called me the other day and asked was I busy having sex. Imagine that. And some hating ass niggas in my family keep running their mouths about all my “hoochie mamas” and “rump shakers on the boat” in miami… they somehow discovered fubarwebmasters.com and see me at all these porn conventions and gatherings across the country, then they started googling all the models I film and shit and start talking about them… at the fucking family dinner table with 3 generations of my folks seated partaking in a rare family meal. Classy negroes I tell you. Then they’ll whine and hit me up for some bread later on. And treat me like a stranger in my own house, that I gave them for fucking free. Cause I’m a pervert right, with no morals. And all my money is ill gotten and immoral. Nigga please.

So with all that said I’m a hustler in every sense of the word and I make no apologies. It is a very lonely life that I live but the tradeoff is well worth it when everyday I realize that I’m in control of everything, I ultimately have no one to answer to but my paying customers and affiliates, and I runs shit the way I wanna run it. Most of the time its a pain in the ass, but when you pay the cost to be the boss its really worth it when you have GOOD DAYS days like today. Sometimes the talent shows up, clean, sober, makeup ready, looking smokin hot, knows the paperwork and 2257 ID drill, and puts on an amazing performance where you actually start to believe every dirty sexy word that comes out of her mouth… thats what the fuck I’m talking about. And  Sierra Sanchez, you really made my day a good one… and reminded my why I do what I do for a living. Matter of fact you’re getting booked again this week so go buy a new outfit and some jewelry. peaceout.

Its settled… and I just booked a one-way ticket up outta here for good. I am officially done with California in 2 weeks. And I’m not coming back to live here. Ever. EVER. Fuck that… the final straw was when a few days ago I was headed to this little square temp promo job I have out here to give away supplement samples. This company pays me $20 an hour to be this fitness promo guy and I do the gig like once or twice a month since I’ve been in California as it was one of my first craigslists jobs when I landed here. So anyhow on the way to the vitamin store this cop fucks with me and says I ran a yellow light (wtf?) and I’ll get something in the mail about it. Well the mail came, and these fuckers want $495 from me… all en route to a bullshit $20 job trying to make an honest living. Well that was the “fuckit” catalyst for me. And by the way my black ass will be in court fighting that shit next week. So much for being a wage slave, there is no way to get ahead unless you control your own money and your own lifestyle, and I knew this all along… I just needed a recent bump on the head to jog my memory. So Cali is so DONE… like this little 18 year old freak I met in the hot tub at the gym said, its a “fail” living out here. And don’t even get me started on the latest AIM news for those folks down in LA… I didn’t know what a fail was (apparently its new white girl suburban slang) until she broke it down to me. I feel very old all of a sudden…

So anyhow I’ve been scouring craigslist down there and am trying to decide on south beach miami or tampa. I’m so done with orlando. Even though I still have a house in that area its all fucked up from family members running in and out of it for many years and the place is just “tore up from the floor up” as they used to say in oakland.

So I’m just gonna rent me a nice little clean apartment near or on the BEACH where I can get some SUN on my black ass and peacefully work on my websites, videos, and occasionally film a hottie or twelve. Rent is dirt cheap down there compared to Cali… and I’m just a single guy with no bitches shacked up with me so I can live off a bag of rice for a month. Fuck all my cars, they can rot. I’m not pissing any more money into them after I take my kids on a road trip this summer. Then I’m selling them all for whatever the market dictates. If you think I’m bullshittin, I just sold my Mercedes for $137.51 on ebay so I don’t even give a fuck. I bought my plane ticket with the paypal money, now thats a good investment… as soon as I land I’m gonna get me a bicycle and some new adidas and run up and down the beach twice a day, 5 miles in the morning, same in the evening. Gotta get off these treadmills and the “california lifestyle” and get some more fresh air. shit.

So anyhow until my day for departure comes, I’ve got 15 DV tapes of footage to put up on VOD sites, Hotmovies, Clips4sale, and hopefully AEBN and any others I can find. Need to monetize this footage to pay for more models, and film some of the same girls again for other scenes as well. Not to mention its a good rent money hustle until I actually have enough original content shot up for my paysite launches this summer. Which reminds me, I need to jam up to the indian reservation to continue filming babes for hotnativeamericangirls.com which is way behind production schedule. I need to just get up there and rent a place for a week and bang out footage of at least 12 girls (enough to start and sustain a member site for a month at least) until I can make steady and regular travel plans to get up there for updates. So there will be a lot of resettling and zipping around in planes and cars and shit from now until the end of August. I’ll still be attending Cybernet Expo and Internext in addition to securing and furnishing a new place, taking my kids on a cross country roadtrip, filming and banging more girls than I have fingers and toes, setting up my paysites, merchant account with OrbitalPay (thanks Karen) and getting some good affiliates to help me push it all down the buying public websurfers throats. So I shall be busy. Matter of fact this other video clip just got done rendering on the PC next to me so I better tend to it. This blog is gonna make one hell of a movie… or instructional guide for anyone that is starting all over with nothing but a vision. By the way fans if you wanna download Roxy, Carmen, or Kira’s videos before they hit my paysite, be my guest and snag em’ up my clips4sale store for now. peaceout

- shimmy

One of my favorite skits from Dave Chapelle’s Show was “when keepin it real goes wrong“. Its on the Season 2 DVD if you missed it. So here’s whats on my mind today… I have this habit of keeping friends with 2 sets of X-chromosomes. That pretty much sums it up, but I’ll continue. I actually have a really good friend whom I’ve known for about a year. We share a lot in common and she’s my favorite workout partner. She is actually one of the few people aside from you pervs who read this blog who know I live the double-life of a porn actor / webmaster / producer. Well I assumed she knew I was on-camera sometimes too. But I assumed wrong, and not that it matters as we’ve never had sex, and even still I’m always AIM tested. She is fine as fuck too, a hot little number that can run with me for miles and has a great brain too.  Should have converted this into a real relationship but I was going through some drama when we first met and we kinda drifted into the friends zone. Unlike most typical “platonic” M/F friendships, this one wasn’t like slow-motion humilation. I actually liked her and enjoying doing shit and going places with her. Concerts, trail runs, movies, it was nice. And a nice change to be with someone who doesn’t embarass you in public like a wife or girlfriend typically is known for. Maybe thats why I didn’t want to push myself on her. In hindsight I am now thinking maybe men and women aren’t meant to be ‘just friends’. Who knows.

In the adult biz you tend to wanna insulate yourself with people whom you can trust, and you never ever want to burn those bridges because it is those folks who will keep you ‘normal’. And you can’t lie to them, you can’t lie to anyone matter of fact, and if they choose to leave you high and dry you just kinda have to let it be. Our last little conversation went something along the lines of me asking her for some stories for script ideas (note to self: mistake #1) and I did this assuming she was cool as always and she brings up something like “so you’re acting in porn flicks now?” and I’m like yeah if you can call it that, I’ve done a few scenes for ABC/XYZ etc. And I should have left it at that. But you know when you have friends that are very close to you, you automatically assumed that they’re genuinely interested in your life and its details, and I am guessing in her female mind which is wired differently by default, giving all these details was like me dropping a nuclear bomb on hawaii. So there is a bit of awkward silence for a few days… and it’s just weird because I’m used to dealing with girlfriend/wife drama but most people tend to actually care somewhat what their friends think of them. And you assume they are accepting of you if you’ve spent a lot of time with them. So the lesson learned here folks (as there are no regrets in life) is if you decide to go down the road I have traveled, be prepared for situations like this. Its just weird I dunno what to say. You think people are cool with porn especially after being upfront and honest with them. Hope to hear from you again KA, I really liked you. Now back to writing and casting my little porno skits…

I’m not a big fan of work unless I’m doing something that sincerely interests me. One of my favorite essays is “The Abolition of Work” written by Bob Black. A very good read indeed. Anyhow lately I’ve put in for about 40 or so jobs here in California and landed interviews for about a quarter of them. Not bad in today’s shaky economy. So I’ve done countless drug tests, background checks, fingerprint scans, and my most number one favorite thing to do this week, the so-called “pre employment screening“. This is much more entertaining when it’s administered by a live person, because it allows you to see how full of shit they are… but in most cases its done through computer nowadays, wherein you answer an array of about 75 multiple choice questions to determine whether or not you are a liar, hypocrite, thief, or possibly all 3 (upper management positions are available in that instance). Have you ever been convicted of a felony, misdemeanor, or sex crime? If you checked yes please explain. This will not automatically bar you from employment (liars!) Gotta love that one. If you even think about checking yes, the snooty lady behind the desk won’t even continue reading your app.

If you’ve never done one of these screenings before you are in for a real treat. Next time you’re in walmart, sears, or any major “chain store” hit up one of those kiosks in the corner and bring some popcorn. Be prepared to answer trick questions like “when was the last time you smoked cocaine?” only to be asked the same question 30 minutes later, though worded differently. Other honesty issues pop up like “Johnny found a $50 bill outside in the parking lot and no customers are nearby, what should Johnny do”. Oh the crippling morality… if you can navigate through this sea of crap without splitting your belly open from laughing, the job is pretty much a tap in. Just remember when filling out these personality screenings… you are so honest it hurts, you help old ladies cross the street after they beat you with a cane and call you nigger 85 times, you have no sex drive whatsoever towards customers and coworkers, and the customer… god bless them, and your boss too, is always right. If you can pull it off the joys of part time minimum wage without benefits or room for advancement is yours for the taking. If you’re smart, in this jacked up economy you’ll get yourself a few of these gigs, stack up your hours, daydream about sunbathing with nude models on the island of Nevis, and keep replaying TI and Young Jeezy on your mental ipod. You’ll make it through the shift alright… do this for a few months, get your paper growing, and move on to your real money making projects now that you’re at least surviving.