Buckle up and return your seats and tray tables to their original upright positions. I just got back from doing a few promo gigs out here in florida. They’re having the big daytona 500 race this week out here, speed week I think they call it… and this model agency hired me on to be a car show “rent a model” with some other model type skinny russian broads who barely speak any english. Russian girls are hot but they dont smile too much… anyhow you know how they want like a multicultural talent pool and all at these big corporate events, and since nascar is mostly a redneck sport and has a 0.02% negro audience I guess I got handpicked to be the black boy posterchild. Whatever nigga just cut the check for the right amount… so thats my day, and my week here actually. I’m hustling, ponying up some cash for my next video project so I can sell sell sell and get paid paid paid. Photo above is me and Ryu from Latindollars at Saphirre at the 2010 players ball. Thanks for the bottle service WebAir and D-money the free Limo service and VIP was much appreciated man!

So getting back to florida here and now, its like 2am and after a long 12 hour workday of being a rent-a-coon I fell asleep, just woke up and checked my email. I got something from my mom, a Fwd’d msg actually from my ex who asked for some dollars a few days ago. Something along the lines of “send money now” and we got a 500 dollar phone bill lol. Quit calling niggas in jail and out of your area code and country then. Use skype like every other motherfucker does in this recession, its free. I then read a little deeper cause my eyes are tired, and its 2am and theres something in the email about how I’m fucking some bitches, doing this and that to some indians, i’m a disgusting horrible person, pervert, etc, etc. I still didnt read all that shit in its entirely, cause its 2am, I’m thirsty, and I need to get ready to hit the gym for my workout before cranking out some computer work.

In my opinion if you have internet access, a home with 4 walls, with functional utilities, and a fixed monthly income you are not as bad off as you think. Go figure it out, and if this bitch thinks I care if my family knows that I make adult films for a living she’s got another thing coming.  Its just entertainment for profit, and I promote smiles. I recorded a Shimmy Show broadcast about this as I’m making my smoothie right now. And it was a really good strawberry banana smoothie, all frothy on top just like I like it Mmmm mmm good Its all good and its all fun. Fun for adults. Smiles. Laughs. Giggles. Happiness. Joy… Ain’t that right Sierra?

Fresh White tshirt in my all-white cabby… Yeah, she a girl but she call me daddy

http://www.shimmyshow.com

I’m busy with site designs and selling DVDs… lotsa shit to keep my plate full lately, and I’m planning another trip to make some more skin flicks. Thought I would take it easy for a change and play with Adobe Premiere. Enjoy, now I will have my nap… after you play the clip, check out www.hitthebitch.dk its some real far out shit some dudes in holland made… not my cup of tea but I can’t lie I did get a few cheap laughs in.  Laters

A lot of folks listen to me talking shit on the shimmy show and think I don’t care about the girls I work with both on and off camera, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m not a hardcore gangsta nigga gorilla pimp I do actually give a shit, and in the case of what happened over the last few days I cared a bit too much about the 18 year old white girls “problems” and got fucked over myself by going soft. I exhibited a sign of weakness, broke the rules of the game, and pretty much fucked myself out of a few hundred dollars. Should recoop it today, we will see if the girl remains true to her word, should be an interesting night. See that little text message I got on my phone there… my main chick the 18yr old white girl has self inflicted money problems. She has rent that is $1000 a month, her roomate skipped out on her without paying, and she got an eviction notice (or at least the customary warning papers) on her door the other day. So that alone was motivation for her to get some real money hustling for me. I said I would double up and even triple post her ads to keep her phone ringing and help her out. Well to make a long story short she made $800 last night from 2 calls. We have this agreement where 2 calls or less we split 50/50 and 3 calls or more I get 50 per delivery along with a little kickback for ad posting and gas money. It works out about the same so long as she keeps moving, and isn’t lazy.

By the way, thank you Jayda for helping me forget about these problems…. so anyhow instead of my $400 cut last night, she tried to renig on our written agreement and give me like $160 for the whole night, pocketing about $700 for herself. I set her straight and she went into this bit about my rent this, my life that, blah blah blah and I told her I don’t want to see her ass evicted so just pay the fucking rent and don’t expect me to bend the fuck over for you like this because these were some high risk calls in lakeland that I had taken babygirl on, and some unneccesary risks if you ask me and I don’t like doing anything remotely that hot. So I really really fucked myself out of my money for this little 18 year old bitch, who just spent $340 on a freakin cell phone 2 days ago (gee where did that rent money go…) and I made it clear to her this would not happen again.

I’m not the type of nigga to rub shit like this in peoples faces or hold stuff over their heads cause it just makes for awkward moments. So long as she knows it’s back to business as usual we’re good. Surprisingly after she made rent, she tells me she could not work yesterday cause she is sick, stomach hurts (hangover likely) and I said no problem but today (sunday) you’re going out EARLY and getting me some motherfuckin money. And that she will do. Cause I’m leaving on Monday… up to Canada for a week to see my kids and get them some winter clothes, shoes and shit before it turns cold up there. I’m also gonna film some enough indian girls to get hotnativeamericangirls.com launched. I spent the afternoon yesterday booking a plane ticket, researching hotel/rental cars, making sure my bills here are all straight for my office space, gym membership (thanks, girl with glasses) and other shit so that when I get back in the country everything is on the up and up. I ended yesterday by having Jayda over for an office POV video, same type of scenes as last week only with better lighting, and broke in that natuzzi leather sofa finally. Keep up to date on my travels on the shimmy show audioblog, as this might be my last post here on shimmysbookmarks for about a week or so, as I’ll be busy filming, with my kids, with friend, girls, etc for the next week and I don’t have a laptop. Maybe if I can update this site through my iphone… we’ll soon see.

peaceout

shimmy

Ohhhhkayyy! This is the first time in about a month since I’ve connected my main computer to the internet. I’ve finally relocated to my new office space, and it feels good to have some privacy and respect goddammit. I’ve been hopping back and forth and public libraries and hotels, and you can’t really work on your porn shit there. Either the filters block it, or its simple not appropriate to do in public with prying eyes everywhere. I think damn near everyone wants to secretly spy on what a black dude is using a public computer for. Anyhow, I haven’t forget about my passion for writing, speaking, and entertaining, and over the course of the last 2 months, and made an audioblog/radioshow for your listening pleasure. I won’t spoil the details, but you can check it out at http://www.shimmyshow.com

i gotta go. Really. i need to gtfo asap… get the fuck out as soon as possible. I’ve fuckin had it with california. and i’ve only been back here for like 24 hours. its that bad. you don’t realize how fucked up it is until you compare it with the rest of the modern world. i don’t know where to begin so its time for a bulleted list to empty my mind…

california grass is brown. all of it. that is whenever you can find it. people tend to put rocks and pebbles on that little 8ft patch in front of their house they call a lawn here… and if they do have grass its all brown. eww. and i left the paradise of white sandy beaches, crystal blue salt water, hot sun and buttnekkid florida cuties for this shit out here. the nature alone is enough to make me move back to florida

california girls. don’t even get me started. i will fill this fucking page with cuss words and make up some as i go. these chicks do too much living in their heads and are damn near lifeless. feminine traits no longer exist here, and what you are left with are cocky hateful woMEN with tits who think they know everything and condescent to every motherfucker who dares to smile and say hi. 100% of them have rehashed issues and therefore cannot smile, relax, have fun, or be genuine. you may get a fake smile when you are seen brandishing some currency at the store, and even their fake smile is not very good. if pitted against women around the world they would rank quite low put it that way

california jobs just ain’t happening. you better act in porn, direct porn, shoot porn, or webmaster porn if you’re gonna make it. otherwise head on right down to the social services building in your county. niggas ain’t hiring here for shit. no retail. no blue collar. no IT computer geek work. no white collar. unless you’re a doctor or a undertaker there is no work for yo ass here. you better get to fucking on film to pay your rent or find somebody to sue like everyone else. and hustle fast too
california traffic defies description. just get a bicycle. use it often. i have a few. there is this really interesting stunt track here where 16 lanes of traffic all get a green light at the same time, then they merge into 4 lanes all within a 1/4 mile stretch. all amateur drivers too… its called the Bay Bridge toll plaza. make sure your insurance is paid up and keep your AAA on speed dial if you plan on driving here. oh and those san francisco hills work wonders on clutches… be prepared to sit in traffic for 2 hours to cover just a few miles here

california people tend to look like they have heavy shit on their minds all the time. i think the word is “frazzled”. people in south beach FL just chill and live in the moment. they’re alert, happy, healthy, and actually respond like real humans when you talk to them. here people are dead fucking serious and its downright scary. they look miserable, and tense. when i’m on the subway here there can be a train car full of 35 people and not a single person will say a peep for like an hour. its so damn tense i dont even wanna think about it. it just seems like everyone has alterior motives and their behavior reflects it in their tense body language, straight faces, and ‘do not look at or talk to me’ attitudes. then these niggas will hate on me and look at me like i’m crazy for smiling and being happy around them. fuck yall i ain’t gonna be miserable just cause your life is fucked up beyond repair
california food sucks. i only drink smoothies and eat cereal. everything else will kill you.

so thats it for tonites little rant. my plan is to be permanently moved back to florida by november this year. fueling this dream of mine will be my websites, dvds, and other porno related shit. you have to come to florida with a little bit of money or you will be stuck. i’m only out here to hustle up some cash then i’m up out this bitch for good while i’m still sane and happy. no wonder i left this place 10 years ago… now i remember why…

You know what I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had time to scratch my own balls. I haven’t posted to my little journal here for all you faithful readers in weeks because I’ve been so active in the “real world” (ie: offline) even moreso than usual. I worked 3 part time gigs this week, all the while ebaying my ass off and getting ready for my upcoming porno conventions and filming excursions. To top things off I’m helping a very dear friend cope with the loss of a loved one, and doing all that I can to help them out. So I’m burnt, beat, exhausted. About the only sigh of relief I get is from soaking in the hot tub at the gym, running a few miles, and cooling off with a swim. If I didn’t have that kind of outlet I would be going nuts by now.

And lawd ham mercy I haven’t even responded to all of the emails from promo models in my inbox, I posted a little craigslist ad for promo girls to work the floor for me at the Cybernet expo convention in San Francisco and Exxxxotica Miami and there are some definite hotties in the bunch I want to hire, yet I’m so strapped for time I haven’t gotten back to them. This is going to be a busy week, as everything is now leading up to the show season and I’ve got a lot of loose ends to tie.

So enough about my personal rambles, I’ll survive just fine. I wanted to talk about social control, as thats been on my mind a lot while I was working these little square ass 9-5 jobs this week. I am damn tired of having snitch-ass coworkers and managers “spy” on me while I’m trying to do my job, and I’m tired of higher-uppers talking down to me condescendingly with their rooty-tooty-snooty attitudes. And dirty fingernails. And bad skin. Fuck… I almost think being an ugly motherfucker with bad hygiene is a prerequisite to being a manager in any corporate entity. If they only knew the smutty, sexy, oh so fucking hot films their little bullshit jobs are financing. Shimmy will have the last laugh, and my word is good as a government check. I’ll make it a point to send them a copy of the footage with me getting my dick sucked somewhere on the beach. So back once again to social control… working these 9-5 jobs for most people is very soul crushing and draining. You are not even treated humanely. I’ve had to deal with only getting one 20 minute bathroom break for an 8 hour shift, standing on my feet, busting my ass to make sales that I earn no commission whatsoever from, and I’m pretty sure that is not legal (I think by law you’re required 2 15min breaks and one unpaid 30min lunch break for an 8hr shift) Its no wonder people snap and shoot up the workplace. Its just such a powerkeg of tension. Thank God I’m smart enough to work with my mind. I can remember all that I can think of at the end of the day is how much my feet hurt from standing in a little area on the sales floor. And I buy pretty damn good shoes, and also run 5-10 miles a day so its not me, its the working conditions.

So I’m starting to think that “work” as in 40hrs a week work exists mostly for social control. Just like school, tv, the internet, movie theatres, religion, professional sports, etc. People need a distraction otherwise there will be a whole planet full of independent free spirited motherfuckers like me making porn, earning ridiculous amounts of money, going wherever the fuck I feel like going… whenever I feel like it, and not having anyone to answer to. That is a scary thought. Well no not really. That just means the world would be happy. People wouldn’t need drugs, alcohol, or antidepressants to get through their day. They could smile all the time like me, do and say what they feel, be liked, loved, and respected, and really get what they want out of life. I happen to like traveling, and running, and smokin hot girls with tight bodies, and money. Did I mention I like money? Yeah, thats the fuel for my reality. Mo money, mo fun, mo adventures… I really have no idea where I am going with this so I am going to end this now, and get ready to help one of my closest friends go thru probably the most difficult day in her life to date tommorow morning. I need to be there for her, so goodnite all. Oh, and if you want your daily dose of unique free porn guys, check out Ty Endicott’s Smoking Foxes. I can’t stand smokers myself, but luv it when I see a hot chick light up and take a few slow drags and puffs. And damn near every girl on the porn circuit smokes… See ya folks

Shimmy

Back

So I admit it, living in the SF Bay area with all the happy hippies has converted me into a bicyclist instead of a motorist. As a guy that once drove a different car every day of the week this is quite a change, but after traffic jams, bridge tolls, gas, and insurance are going thru the roof I realized that cars for the most part are a big pain in the ass, and are not necessary if you live in a big city with good mass transit. Plus my leg muscles are just growing to be fucking huge. The only downside is people don’t tend to see you in traffic. Even though I’ve got big bright ass flashing lights on the front and back I swear that I’m invisible to most drivers. Its amazing how much cash you can save when you’re not steady plunking dollars into some piece of shit in your driveway. More $$$ to film movies with…

A lot of people probably wonder why I direct, shoot, and act in porn for a living… I often ponder that myself, then the answers seem clear. It’s the lifestyle. The money. The freedom. The fun. And of course the ladies are an added perk too, as goofy as many of them are. I’m just a creative, independent guy that likes to make money, have fun, and do what the fuck I feel like doing. And thats good enough for me to accept, so the rest of the world will just have to swallow that too. Thats me on the DeeCash cruise at Internext Miami last summer by the way. Good times.

Now, if you had to choose between being Bill Gates or Hugh Hefner, which would you be… both have a considerable stash of cash, but which one of those guys is living better, by most peoples standards. Hmmm. So that is the topic of today’s post, chasing the lifestyle. And that is really all that I am doing. Hell 12 years ago when the internet was in it’s baby stages I was making a shitload of cash cranking porn, and I see those days coming back right around the corner now that I’m finally producing and distributing everything independently from the ground up.

I’ve got all the bases covered, from recruiting, shooting, directing, lighting, production, dvd authoring, distribution, site design/upkeep, billing, marketing, affiliate managing, you name it I’ve got it covered and have done it all before. I’m so pumped to start filming in Florida this summer its not even funny… I have whole notebooks full of ideas, storyboards, scripts, locations, talent… everything all planned out. And while the details may change, the shit is going to get shot regardless. And on the web/dvd/vod it shall go…. florida is gonna be hotter than a firecracker in yo hand this summer once I roll thru there son.

Today was an off-day from my square jobs so I went to the beach and chilled. Just plopped on the sand, ripped off my shirt, caught some sun on my black ass, and listened to the waves while I watched little birds run along the shore. I even whipped out my DV cam and shot a little monologue video about my day at the beach and I’m gonna mail that to my kids up in Canada cause I know it’s gotta be cold as fuck up there still, with snow all up to a niggas kneecaps and shit. I’m so glad to be up outta there. I swear I will never take the sunshine for granted for as long as I live, cause there are places where the sun don’t shine for months on end. Well, I’m about to have a nap before I workout later and beat the shiznit outta my body once again. Gotta stay in shape right… so peace out

Shimmy

Have to admit that the California lifestyle that I grew up with has changed in the past few years I’ve been absent from the country. There is a photo of me, about 3 months ago, freezing outside of a Canadian airport waiting for a bus at midnight… right before the seasons first snowfall. I had just returned from Vegas, and It was at least -20 degrees that night, and the best fuzzy pimp hat in the world couldn’t keep my body warm. At least I don’t have harsh environmental challenges like this in California… though the economy is still rather fucked up, the sky is blue and the sun shines, which is more than I can say for living in the midwest region of a socialist country. So yep I’m happy to be here. I’ve gone though many jobs/gigs since I arrived back here 2 months ago and I’m getting by okay, prepping  for my big shoots this summer in Florida. That shit is gonna be off the chain, and I’m expecting it to rain cash like it’s 1999 all over again with the hot niche movies I’m gonna be cranking out.

Not to be neglecting my blog here, but I’ve been busy ebaying my ass off, buying/selling to get more camera and lighting toys, in addition to working gig after gig to finance these films, the talent, and the locations. So if I’m a bit slow in replying back to your emails/ims/voicemails give me the benefit of the doubt. Niggas are keeping me busy in every respect and I swear that I’m working a minimum of 5 different jobs every week. I take them as they come and rarely turn down a cash offer. So get it how you live in California, it’s the only way to survive out here. People are shocked the state is “broke” and I thought this was all bullshit hype on the news to scare folks…. until all the teachers in my city got laid off 2 days ago because like I said, the state is “broke”. Then I realized the sky really was falling here. Its going to be interesting to see how people dig their way out of this hole, as its getting deeper by the minute. Porn is gonna prove to be America’s (and my own) saving grace once again… so get shooting!

It was after midnight and I had just gotten home… ready to blog up a storm about all the occurences that have happened to me in the past few days. Some bad, some good, but mostly random and just plain weird. Then I fell asleep on my massage table. So after a good morning bike ride, run, and swim let me try to spill my thoughts on this little old keyboard and get my devoted readers up to speed… Oh and by the way today’s blog post is shamlessly sponsored by Sin City Chamber of Commerce. If you see brazilian babe Jade there tell her Shimmy referred you. Now onto posting…

The American Workplace

I usually work several part time jobs in addition to my porn biz. Acting gigs as male talent come and go (hahaha) and when you’re doing your own films and websites you do need to finance them somehow, as girls don’t work for free and neither does the crew or equipment. So to make this story brief I took on a telemarketing fundraising job in downtown San Francisco. It was for a charity to save California’s forests. Hell since I am no longer working for them I will spill the beans, they are called “Forests Forever“. Anyhow I don’t really give a shit about any trees except for palm trees, which I find to be beautiful and exotic, and my job was to phone canvas old supporters and beg them for money in this tough economic crisis. It went something like

“Hi this is Shimmy from Forests Forever…. did you know that clear-cutting is still going on at an alarming rate in California?? Blah blah blah yada yada yada for 3 minutes, then beg for their credit card number… for only $200 per year you can be a sustaining member blah blah blah blah. It was some slick shit. And I’m not really down for doing slick shit, but these are people who love trees that we were calling. I did my best to inject passion into my voice but it just wasn’t genuine. The first day I made over quota, the next 2 days I didn’t, and I was let go. But this is not what bothered me, as business is business… it was this particular person that worked there. And this is where it gets hairy. And I’m going to step on some toes and tell you what is wrong with the American workplace today, in my opinion…

On the other side of the office, well out of sight was this middle eastern woman, dressed head to toe in a burka. She was my “trainer” the other day. You could not see anything but her glasses peeking out of a pile of fabric. Reminds me of those ghosts that used to chase pac man around the maze when I was a kid. Now I’ve seen people in sheets before but never in a corporate office, in a fucking skyscraper building, in downtown San Francisco, talking down to me as if I’m some house nigger that barely comprehends Engrish. She actually resembled cobra commander from GI Joe now that I think about it. But this is the workplace after all, so I’m respectful of diversity until lines are crossed. I took a little humor in the moment as I watched this taliban chick crack open a diet soda, and lift up this little fucking flap in her sheet to take a drink. The can just kinda of dissapeared and reappeared. I almost had to bite a hole in my goddamm lower lip just to keep from laughing and falling on the floor. So after my little pep talk about how not to use my sales talk experience to make sales (huh?) I went back to my desk, made fewer donations, and was canned for not hitting quota. Okay I thought, no big deal… its hard to frown when you get to bang pornstars and make dirty movies for a living. But here is where it gets really fucked up and I feel that I have to speak out on this, and I hope you sane people that work there and even you the sheet lady are reading this right now (though I highly doubt she would be caught dead looking at a pornographers blog site, her hubby would probably cane her and wash her eyes with acid to cleanse my ‘filth’, of course only after to whacking off to me rawdogging a hottie POV style) as this is where the line of decency was crossed. And thats why I’m fucking with your sand-nigger ass.

Little known fact is that my grandfather was from Saudi. I found this out when I was about 20 years old. I had only met him a few times but he was a cool dude. Spoke little English, and I don’t have the full details on the geneology but the birth certificates don’t lie. So this isn’t really a race issue, its a respect and personal boundaries issue. And I didn’t bring it up because a few days ago I actually valued having another job in this fucked up economy. So here it’s time for my 15 minute break, and I walk across the street downtown to the drug store to get something to boost my energy. I had ran 5 miles and swam earlier, and also rode my bike to work. I noticed this black kid selling candy for charity on the way in, and I turned around and said to myself, I need to support this kid, he reminds me of myself, both in past and present. So instead of buying some snacks at Walgreens I walked outside and gave this kid 2 bucks and congratulated him for what he was doing. He was very well dressed, perfectly groomed, and all of about 12 years old. And mind you this is downtown san francisco. He looked better in his suit than I did in mine. Like this black kid should be in commercials selling shampoo or cereal or something. And his charity was to save his parents home from foreclosure… and he had the nuts to be on a streetcorner, with nothing but a smile and a box of candy. And there are all sorts of creeps and freaks in downtown san francisco at night. Did I mention this black kid had nuts to be doing what he was doing. I actually admired him, and had I had more cash I would have given him more. Shit if I had my Nikon I would have done my best to make him famous. And here is where it gets trippy…

My break is almost over, I’m crunching on some of this kids candy, and cobra commander bitch is standing outside of the building and says to me “You really shouldn’t support people like that… he is out there all the time and its not even a real charity it’s for his parents. He should be home doing his homework blah blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit… I have a daughter and her job is school to get an education blah blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit.“. She gave me this self-righteous rant about herself and her daughter for the rest of my break. And you don’t know how comical it must have looked to passers by having a loud mouth bitch in a sheet, dressed like an ewok druid from star wars lecturing you about buying candy from a black kid who’s trying to save his own home. There are never any stones on the street when you really need them. Would she be happier if this lil’ young nigga just robbed her point blank?? I mean come on now this kid had limited options (Like myself and many others) and he was trying to hustle his ass off in a respectful way. And it doesn’t get any more “American” than that to me. That boy almost made me cry I’m not shitting you. And I don’t cry, and haven’t in years. So yes his passion for life touched me in a sensitive spot in my mind, thats why I’m taking this all so personal.  So I swallowed my pride and went back to my cubicle, and proceeded to save some trees. By sending people junk mail, from a charity to save trees. California is fucked up. And that my friends is what is wrong with the American workplace.

This kind of bullshit would not fly in any other country in the world. You cannot place your so-called values on people, frame them up, and expect to get away with it. And here I am, well groomed, dapper, looking all dipped and buttered and shit in my fresh from the cleaners Nautica suit and Steve Madden shoes, and I’m taking shit both inside of and outside of the office from a pile of walking laundry. What the fuck.

The Sun Still Shines for Shimmy

So after I didn’t make quota at this organization I got some more job offers I lined up a while ago call me up for 2nd and 3rd interviews so I’m not high and dry. It’s like keeping backup girlfriends for when your main lady wants to act funky. And I have some more acting gigs and auditions lined up. So it was still a good day. I cashed the tree-huggers check and got enough scratch to get myself the Canon 3CCD video cam I’ve been drooling over for the longest too, so it was “mission accomplished” so far as I’m concerned. My main objective with work out here on the west coast is to get cashed up enough to get my cams, equipment, model pay, etc financed for making some adult flicks this summer on the east coast, and everything is moving along right on schedule, if not ahead of. So “F U” to all the haters, I’m still pushing forward, full speed ahead.

More weird shit happening at the gym

I don’t like it when motherfuckers recognize me, especially in public. I was last at Sahara buffet in Vegas in January, eating some orange chicken and some dude came up to me and said he thinks he recognized me. I denied it… as that only meant he’s seen me in porn, or on this blog site. And more likely the porn… so I was just like no I’m another random negro. But he made me, and I told him the truth and he went on his way in 2 minutes. It was weird. But not weirder than last night. I had a late nite swim and hot tub after getting my new camera, and went in to shower. Not realizing some dude was ‘watching’ me a little to close. So I get dressed as normal and he motions me to come over to him he has something to tell me…. “brother, young brother… where are you from? I’m from here motherfucker I tell him, not in those exact words. And he shakes my hand and asks me if I’m “funny” (gay) and laugh it off and then he gets serious and asks me why do I “shave my private parts” in those exact words. The laughing expression on my face changed to a fucked up facial expression that suggest something like “nigga why were you even staring at my dick-region long enough to even notice something like that”. The little hairs on my arm stood up… creepy as fuck. I don’t think the dude was homo as if he was that would have made it a little less creepy. Straight normal looking guys watching me from a distance wash my balls in the shower… *sigh* did I mention California is fucking weird??